Rise From The Ashes

Imagine a gloriously peaceful and beautiful forest. The tall, tall trees are growing close together, creating shade and cool weather. The birds are chirping and the deer scamper to a billowing creek for a fresh drink. Plump berries are growing from thorny bushes for big bears to snack on. Old trees are dying and new ones are growing. It’s a complete circle of life, created by God’s hands. 

One particularly hot and sticky day, a ray of sunshine pours down through the thick foliage and rests upon a dried crunchy leaf. In the flash of an eye the once dehydrated leaf is now ablaze in a red hot fury. The leaves around it catch fire, then twigs, fallen branches and trees. In a matter of minutes the once serene forest is now in panic, fighting for life. The birds have all flown away in a giant mass of ruffling feathers. All manner of woodland creatures are running as fast as they can. 

The fire only grows hotter, spreading faster and completely out of control. Smoke billows from the tree tops, blackening the sky with despair. It seems utterly hopeless. The fire runs out of fuel and slowly the flames begin to die down. The forest is now left smoldering—nothing but heaps of charred ashes and coals. Lifeless. 

Or is it? 

You may not know this, but in the great circle of life, fires are essential. You see, even the plants know that sometimes you must burn down to the beginning and rebuild. I learned this lesson once while on a vacation to Mount Lassen. The park ranger told us about the importance of forest fires. You see, over time the forest grows and multiplies, all the while trees are dying, falling and creating all sorts of debris on the forest floor. This dead brush chokes out the nutrients and life and prevents new growth from happening. Eventually a fire will erupt, and when the once lively forest is left a blackened pile of ash, the most glorious thing happens. In an otherwise tragic act of destruction, nature renews the burned remains and allows the ashes to act as fertilizer, a building foundation for an even healthier and more beautiful forest to come. Out of the hopeless ashes spring an even more glorious life.

Now that’s amazing.

When I think about my life and the fires that are raging out of control, I am reminded of the peaceful forest ablaze. While seemingly tragic, the fire is followed by re-growth, and a better life is able to happen—but not until the forest has been burned down to its core.  Now that’s a metaphor, if I do say so myself!

 God can rebuild us from the ashes, just as He designed nature to do so; He also designed our lives in this manner. Trials will come, of that there is no doubt. Fires will rage in our lives—whether small brush fires, or ten alarm fires that burn us to our core—fires are a part of life.

But unlike the plants of the ground—we have been blessed with free will. We have a choice to consider—when fires erupt in our lives, how will we react? Do you see the fire as a hopeless situation, or do you wait optimistically to see what good will come of it? When standing in the middle of the forest, while everything you love and cherish dearly is being burned to the ground—what will you do? How will you allow this to change you? After you are left standing in a bewildering mess of smoke and ash, what do you do?

Nature is a great example of what you should do during a fire, and after a fire. God even tells us in His word to take hope in our hopeless situations. Remember this, my beloved friends: “Everything works together for the good of those that love the Lord.” (Romans 8:28) Without fires, nature comes to a stand still—fires are essential to growth, both in nature, and in our lives.

The Apostle Paul tells us to expect trials, and to see them as great opportunities. “² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1: 2-4) 

Paul knew pain, he was chained and imprisoned. He wasn’t just going through one fire, he was going through multiple—maybe you are too. Maybe you are surrounded by the most painful and heart wrenching situations. But even still—can you see the good? Perhaps you can’t see it yet, my friend, but set your mind and spirit, and trust that good things will come. These fires of life may burn you to the ground, but they grow you as well. Hold on to God and His promises. On your own, you cannot defeat this fire. It is only by His will, through His grace and mercy, and by His strength, that you will be able to overcome. Cling to Him, and allow Him to burn the dead brush from your life and rebuild you. The more fires, the more growth. The more you can withstand and you will persevere through the heat. Let the fires run their course so that you may grow.

I have come to know pain. My life is a forest ablaze. I am tragically and beautifully wounded, but my wounds by no means match those that Jesus Christ endured whilst laying His life down so that I may have life everlasting. I am being burned down to my core, but I refuse to be shaken. I refuse to let anger and bitterness consume me and prevent me from growing. I refuse to continually rip the scabs from my wounds, reopening them and preventing them from healing. Life is a cycle, and with Yahweh, I shall continue—I chose to persevere. 

Photo property of Laponiapictures.com

Precious friends, do not let the fires of this life burn you out. Rather, like the trees and flowers of the forest, rise from the ashes and grow. Like charred tree stumps, your fires may leave you scarred, but do not allow them to hinder your growth—no my beloved, allow your scarred base to remind you of how very far you have come. 

Again, I urge you; do not let the flames of this life consume you. This is only the beginning, you were made for so much more. Fires do not last forever, they burn out and allow for healing. Get up, call on the name of the Lord, rise from these ashes, and grow.

 This song "Rise" by Shawn McDonald has been on my heart, and inspired this blog. To listen to the song, click the YouTube video below.

Fear

I have a very specific memory that is rooted in my mind. From time to time it surfaces with such clarity that I feel as if I am reliving the moment. This memory has to do with my worst fear: the one thing that would cause me to unravel at a moment's notice, to lose composure and become a wreck.

I was in the sixth grade, a tween of only twelve years. I recall sitting with my best girl friends in class. We were passing around a very special book. Each friend could fill out a profile with fun and informative facts about themselves. Such as: favorite color, favorite food, secret crush (everyone’s was a boy named Kyle), birthday, etc. One of the questions was, “Your worst fear”.

Even at such a young age I remember having a maturity that most of my other friends didn’t yet possess. As I read through my friends’ answers they were all repetitious, “spiders”, “heights”, “getting my period”. But I, on the other hand, was afraid of something much, much deeper. Something intangible.

So what was my worst fear, you ask? My worst fear…is being alone.

Not alone for a few hours, no, I rather enjoy quiet time to myself. No, even as a tween, my worst fear was that I would grow up and be lonely. That I would end up an unwedded woman in an empty house, with heart full of love and no one to give it to…completely lonely. 

Quite different from my classmates indeed.

This fear has gripped me and has had an ugly hold on my heart ever since then. I have always feared a lonely life. Not having someone to divulge my heart and soul to. Not having someone to hold at night, to cry on, to laugh with…to love.

And yet, here I sit, in the very predicament that I feared my whole life. 

Isn’t it funny how God can use the toughest and most trying ordeals to teach us amazing things about ourselves…about Him? Well, through all of this, God has taught me a cornucopia of valuable lessons. Through this trial, the Lord has confronted me about my worst fear, about my sin.

That’s right, fear is a sin. Now just to be clear fear and being scared are two very separate things. Fear is something deeply rooted, something that is long lasting, long term. Whereas being scared is momentary, it is fleeting. Being scared is not a sin. We are all scared from time to time. But it is when we allow those things that scare us to take root, and grow in our hearts and transform into monsters and become fear—then we have crossed the line into sin territory.

So how is fear a sin? It says in God’s word (the Bible) that “There is no fear in love. But perfect love casts out fear…” (1 John 4:18). 

We know that “God is love” (1 John 4:8), and true, perfect Godly love is defined quite poetically (even if now cliché) in 1 Corinthians 13:4-13…

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. ⁵ It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres…⁸ Love never fails…¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

Let’s do an exercise. Read that scripture again, only this time replace the words “love” and “it” with “God”, because we know that God IS love. Go ahead; re-read it, I’ll wait…

“Love God is patient, love God is kind. It God does not envy, it God does not boast, it God is not proud. ⁵ It God does not dishonor others, it God is not self-seeking, it God is not easily angered, it God keeps no record of wrongs. ⁶ Love God does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. ⁷ It God always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres… ⁸ Love God never fails…¹³And now these three remain: faith, hope and love God. But the greatest of these is love God.”

…Did it sound different that time? Let’s do the same thing with the verse from 1 John 4:18… 

“There is no fear in love God. But perfect love God casts out fear…”

There is no fear in God. So…are you in God? Not just reading the Bible, not just praying, and not just believing, but are you walking and trusting and loving God in the same manner that Corinthians says you should be? 

I know I wasn’t before this great trial came into my life. I had surrendered certain things to the Lord. I had given him many things, laid them down in order to follow Him. But my fear? How could I surrender something so intangible, something so deeply rooted in the depths of my being, of who I am? Something so incredibly personal?

 

Well God wants it all. Not just parts of you. Not just the pretty things. He wants the good, the bad, the ugly. But why? Why would I need to give up my fear, why should He care? 

Because fear was holding me back from a closer relationship with my great Creator.

When I feared loneliness, it meant that I wasn’t trusting the Lord to provide for me. It meant that I was taking my future into my own hands instead of having the faith to know that He won’t leave me high and dry. When I was fearing loneliness and crying because I don’t have a husband by my side—I was telling God that He wasn’t good enough for me.

 

Wow, what an ugly, horrible statement! What a slap in the face to someone who has bent over backwards and gave over His Son so that I could have freedom! Lord, forgive me for trespassing against you!

This epiphany has truly changed my heart! Lord, carry me through my loneliness, grant me peace and fulfillment to enjoy the cup you’ve given to me. And should you chose that my future be a future of solitude, grant me the patience and contentment to enjoy it, and to live for your glory!

I used to have many fears. I can look them all in the eye now, without trembling, without sadness or tears. I have put my faith, hope and love in Jesus—I have handed him the deed to my life, signed my will over to His Will. I entrust to Him every dark corner of my life as well as every glorious success. You can have it all, Lord Jesus. For when I surrender myself to You, I find an overwhelming sense of peace that gives me strength.

So what is your worst fear? What grip does it have on your life? Are you ready to hand it over to the Lord? He is willing to bear your burden and trade your fear for peace, if only you release your grasp and surrender unto Him…

 

A Fresh Start

Today was a great day. A tough day, but nevertheless an incredibly blessed day. The Lord has provided for me in so many ways--I can see His hand in everything I do. It is for this reason that I can have confidence through trials, joy in pain, and can grow stronger in my walk with Christ even when my world is crumbling.

My friends, for those of you who do not know, I am going through a separation from my husband. I have lost my very best friend in the whole entire world. The one person who knows me in and out, who has been there through my greatest accomplishments and my worst losses. He has held my hand and has always been there for me, and I for him. But this time, we cannot be together. You see, my precious, beautiful husband is struggling with a devastating addiction. He is a slave to a substance much stronger than him. Please pray for my husband, for his recovery and repentance. I pray only the best for him, despite what he has done to me. I love him not only as a wife, but as a sister in Christ. I have the utmost compassion for him and desire for him to be restored to the Lord, and for his life to become an amazing testimony.

I must not get caught up in the past. Nor can I allow myself to be swept away by the present pain I am experiencing. I must look ahead, and strive for the future.  "Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 3:13, 14 NIV) I do not know what God has in store for me, what He has planned. But I do know that I spent countless nights alone, crying on my knees and begging the Lord to hear me and have mercy.

This is not what I had in mind—but then again, what I have in mind is rarely what God has planned—which is always for the best! God knows far better than me! I give Him thanks and praise for having mercy on me, for taking pity, for hearing my cries and pain and wanting a better life for me. Not only for me but for my beloved husband as well. The Lord brought to light his sins because he does not want to see him deteriorate any further. God wants the best for both of us. Of this I can be sure, and for this I am forever thankful.

Please pray for us, and have confidence knowing that God hears our prayers and answers them. 

Thank you, precious Lord for hearing my cries of desperation. Thank for you for seeing what I cannot and for revealing the darkness so that Your light can shine ever brighter. Thank you for growing me, and my husband. Turn our lives and allow us to grow stronger. I pray no matter what, that Your will would be done. Give me strength on the days when I have none left. Give me peace on the nights that I cry instead of sleep. Heal my husband, my best friend, bring him back to You. In Jesus name, Amen.

This is not the end. Although everything is falling apart, I know the Lord will rebuild everything is much more glorious ways. This is only the beginning, a brand new beginning—a fresh start.

A Prayer For A Friend

"A Prayer For a Friend"(By Casting Crowns)

Lord I lift my friend to You.

I've done all that I know to do.

I lift my friend, to You.

Complicated circumstances have clouded his view.

Lord I lift my friend up to You.

I fear that I won't have the words

that he needs to hear.

I pray for Your wisdom, oh God.

And a heart that's sincere.

And Lord I lift my friend up to You.

Lord I lift my friend to You.

My best friend in the world,

I know he means much more to You.

I want so much to help him,

but this is something he has to do.

Lord I lift my friend up to You.

There's a way that seems so right to him.

But You know where that leads.

He's becoming a puppet of the world.
Too blind to see the strings.

And Lord I lift my friend up to You.

Lord I lift my friend to You.

I've done all that I know to do.

I lift my friend, to You.

 

 

Pruning

I’ve been slowly reading an amazing devotional book called “Secrets of The Vine” by Bruce Wilkinson. It focuses on the scriptures found in John 15 where Jesus uses a grape vine as an illustration to describe how God has to prune us in order that we may produce even more fruit.

Here is the scripture, and below are some excerpts from the book. They have been an incredible encouragement to me and have helped me to understand why I am going through this trial…

John 15The Vine and the Branches

 ¹ “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. ² He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes^[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. ³ You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. ⁴ Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.

   ⁵ “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. ⁶ If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. ⁷ If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. ⁸ This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

(The following excerpts are taken from pages 78-87 of “Secrets of the Vine”.)

Mature pruning is God’s way of helping you put into practice His command to “seek first the kingdom of God.” This is why God will always prune those things that we slavishly seek first, love most, and begrudge giving up. Again, His goal isn’t to plunder or harm, but to liberate us so that we can pursue our true desire—His kingdom.

This kind of pruning goes beyond rearranging priorities to the heart of what defines us—the people we love, the possessions we cling to, our deep sense of personal rights. These are the very arenas God must rule if we are to bear fruit…

…God may be asking you to give up your “right” to be married, to have children, or to achieve a particular kind of success. God may be inviting you to follow Christ without the support of your closest family members—possibly even enduring their hatred and rejection because of your faith. If so, He is pruning closely to what really matters to you—not to take something good from you, but to become Lord of all you desire…

…We go through long seasons in our faith walk when we’re unable to answer questions like Why? and How long? We only know Who—our loving Father—and He has proven worthy of our trust. He asks us to let go of reasons, of rights, of fears, and simply throw our arms around His neck. At those times we can pray: “Father, I’m hanging on to You. You can do whatever You want. Just carry me through.”…

…The prize at stake here is your God-given need for a sense of worth and purpose. For Abraham, it was his miracle son, Isaac. For Gideon, it was his large army. What is it for you? ...

…Here is a testimony to the goal of mature pruning: that you will finally be so surrendered to God that everything you now love dearly—even worthy activities and goals—will be let go into God’s sovereign keeping. What remains in your grip is one passion, one goal, one unhindered opportunity: to bear more fruit.

The truth is, Christians who have experienced deep pruning don’t focus on what is left behind anyway. They’re given to courageous, hope-filled, forward-straining prayers on the order of this one from author John Piper: “Lord, let me make a difference for you that is utterly disproportionate to who I am.”…

…I am not inviting you to ask for pruning. Trials will come. The question is simply whether or not you will let the purposeful pruning of God do its work in you, or let it go to waste.

In pruning, how you respond makes all the difference. You can complain, rebel, compromise, or run away. Or you can experience the joy, comfort, and rest that come to disciples who keep their eyes on the prize, not the pain. Listen to Peter describe how some Christians in his day were triumphing in the middle of severe testing:

“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory.” (1 Peter 1:6-8)

I am definitely being pruned, and I pray that I may grow stronger and be able to produce more fruit through this trial, and that God would be glorified.

Be encouraged my friends, be encouraged my soul!

With love,

Amanda Q

This song has been stuck in my head all day. It's called "Beautiful Things" by Gungor.

"You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of the dust.
You make beautiful things,
you make beautiful things out of us."

Click here to here the song on YouTube.

Glimmers of Hope

Today was a beautiful day. Church was an amazing fresh breath of air. As I sat in the aisle and cried my eyes out, I looked around me and saw all these smiling people thanking God. I thought to myself, “Am I the only broken person here?” “Am I the only one who is hurting?” The beautiful women around me held me close and let me cry all over them. As I listened to my brothers and sisters thanking Christ for trials of many kinds, I remembered something amazing—although I am going through an unimaginable trial, I have more blessings than I could possibly ever think of! 

So I began “counting my blessings” and remembering all of the incredible things I have to be thankful for. Then God gave me a special surprise, a glimmer of hope. I only pray that the glimmer starts to shine brighter every day. Thank you Lord for your blessings and for hope!

Photo from http://sherriejohnson.blogspot.com
/2011/04/fire-in-belly.html

Today we celebrated my parents’ 50^th birthdays. I was surrounded by my beautiful family and my baby niece calling my name and telling me she loved me all day. We cuddled in bed and she showered me with kisses. Thank you Lord, for my family and the love of little children.  What a beautiful healing love.

I heard a great song on KLOVE radio. It’s called “Fall Apart” by Josh Wilson. Sometimes it amazes me the songs they play on KLOVE. I wonder to myself, “God, did you write that song just for me?” Nothing could describe my situation more right now. I hope that you will listen to the words and the truth they speak. (Click here to listen to the song.)

“Fall Apart” by Josh Wilson

Why in the world did I think I could
Only get to know you when my life was good
When everything just falls in place
The easiest thing is to give You praise

Now it all seems upside down

‘Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when I fall apart

Blessed are the ones who understand
We’ve got nothing to bring but empty hands
Nothing to hide and nothing to prove
Our heartbreak brings us back to You

And it all seems upside down

‘Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when I fall apart

I don’t know how long this will last
I’m praying for the pain to pass
But maybe this is the best thing that
Has ever happened to me

My whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when
You will find me when I fall apart

Today was a blessing, and I know tomorrow will be too. I don’t where God will take me tomorrow, but I know that everything will be okay.

Be encouraged my friends, and be encouraged my soul!

With love,

Amanda Q

Psalm 43:5

New International Version (NIV)

 ⁵ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
   Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
   for I will yet praise him,
   my Savior and my God.