A Promise Kept

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

"Everything works together for the good of those that love the Lord." Romans 8:28

If you've followed my blog for the past year or so, you might be getting sick of these verses. (After all, I reference them in nearly every entry.) Like a favorite song or catchy tune that you can't seem to get out of your head, these verses are constantly on 'repeat' on my heart. Over and over again I chant them. They have become my battle cry, my strength, what gets me through each day and gives me the endurance to keep going. I have clung to these verses white-knuckled with every ounce of courage and hope that I have. With every fiber of my being, as a desperate, broken woman I have clung to these promises from God, grasping tightly to the hope that someday they would come true for me.

Someday...

Someday all of this pain will work together for my good.

Someday...

Someday the Lord will prosper me, give me hope and a future.

Someday...

Friends, rejoice with me! Praise God with me! Worship and shout out because the LORD my God, my Savior Jesus who has made these promises to me (and to you) has made good of His word, and that someday is NOW.

These verses were once just dreams and hopes, now they are promises kept, proof of Jesus' compassionate and faithful, enduring love! God has truly used the pain and the brokenness to heal me, to grow me, to teach me, to mature me. God has strengthened me through these trials. He has traded my pain and sorrows for joy and smiles. He has swapped my despair and depression with hope and confidence. God has made me whole. He has provided for my every need and blessed me. Truly I proclaim to you, that He has kept His word!

And if God has kept these promises to me, why should I have any doubts that He will faithfully fulfill all other promises He has made? I have searched my soul, I have studied His word, and I have cried out in prayer. Friends, I tell you, I have found no reason to doubt God. He is true. He has been true throughout the ages, and He has demonstrated time and time again throughout my life that He will never leave me, nor forsake me.

"What then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31

A few weeks ago I went for a rather long hike. As I sat in a large walnut tree grove I prayed to God and asked Him many things. I unloaded the burdens of my heart to Him. I begged Him for mercy. I asked Him to finalize this divorce, to set me free and bring me into the future that He promised. As I cried and prayed, I felt the urge to read my Bible. So I opened my Bible app on my phone. The first page it opened was a Verse of The Day. As I read the verse I began to choke on tears. God heard my prayers, and He responded in a real and true way. I read the words of Romans 8:31 over and over again, smiling more and more each time. "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

"If God is for us, who can be against us?"

Let me tell you friend, your prayers don't bounce off the ceiling. God hears you. God loves you, and whether you see it or not, He is responding to you.

Recently I decided that I wanted to get to know the heart of God better. I've never read the Old Testament and I felt like I was missing out on the rich heritage of my people, of God's people, of God Himself. So I started to read. As I read through Exodus I noticed something about God that was so utterly profound and still rings true in my life today. God performed miracles in order to set the Israelites free and bring them out of the land of Egypt and out of slavery. He did these things because He loved His people, because He heard them cry out, because He had compassion and did not want them to suffer and because He had promised their ancestors that He would deliver them. And yet for forty years after He set them free they struggled against Him, wandering aimlessly in the dessert. And here's the rub--God did not free the Israelites so that they could continue to be slaves, lost, hopeless in the desert. No! God freed His beloved children so that He would deliver them out of slavery and into the promised land, to give them hope and a future!

I began to see the connection between the desert-wandering Israelites and myself. I have wandered for over a year now through this desert-like Limbo of the divorce process; at times, losing hope, and other times grasping firm to it as the only option I had left. But what I've come to realize through my dear Israelite brothers and sisters is that my compassionate Father God did not free me from an abusive marriage so that I could continue to be bound and wander the desert. No! God saved me, so that He could bring me out of desperation and into the promised land, into the future that He said He would!

I trust Him. I faithfully follow Him and with all my heart I trust Him. I've wandered in the desert for so long, but the promised land is just over the horizon, I can see it, a blur coming into view. 

Friends, please pray for me. Sometime this week or the next, my divorce paperwork will once again go to the judge for final judgement. I have done all that he has asked. I have made all the corrections and refiled and waited and waited. I know that all this time has been for good reason and that God has used every situation to better me. I have grown through this time in the "desert" and I know, I just know it, I feel it deep in my soul, that God is going to deliver me. Please pray that He will. Pray that he moves Judge Powers' heart, pray for a miracle.

I pray for you too, that no matter where you are in life, no matter what your current struggle is, that you would hold firm to God's promises. I pray that God is using my life, my story, my struggles as a way to show His awesome glory and power to you. You are loved and cherished. Thank you for joining me on my journey, I pray that God blesses you abundantly and reveals His glory and wisdom to you.

I love you friends, and more importantly, Jesus loves you with an unconditional love that has no bounds. May we learn to not be Israelites lost in the desert, pointing our fingers at God and blaming Him, but instead learn to faithfully follow Him and trust that He is guiding us to the promised land. 

After all, "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

"I Walk By Faith" is one of my favorite worship songs; and it epitomizes what I have been through and am going through!

Contentment

God has been teaching me relentlessly these past few weeks. My last post shared with you how He is using my trials and troubles to build me up in purity, understanding, patience, kindness and sincere love, all through the power of the Holy Spirit. In order to grow these precious, priceless qualities within me, He is also teaching me about contentment; How to be satisfied with who I am, what I have, what I don’t have, and where I am in life.

I think that’s something we all struggle with. Both culturally and spiritually—contentment is a constant battle. Commercials, advertisements, the latest gizmos and gadgets; new cars, new homes, clothes, jewelry—we are constantly being smacked by a barrage of messages that say “You’re not good enough!” “You need better things!” “You’re not where you should be!” “Look at what they have!” “Your job sucks!”

And so we yearn. We cry. We covet. We desire for things we don’t need. We beat ourselves—and others—up. We develop a sense of entitlement, when really all these things are just fluff. The only thing we need is Jesus for our spirit, and food, clothing and shelter for our bodies. But in a world where we are grown to desire more, more, more; how can we learn to be satisfied with what we already have and where we are in life?

How can I be content being a 24-year-old woman who is going through a divorce, lives with her parents and is working a career that isn’t quite her passion or what she went to school for? After being on my own and in a relationship for so long, how can I be content depending on my parents and being single and lonely again?

I’ve been trying to discover that answer, and friends, I joyfully proclaim the response to you in this:

 ¹ There is a time for everything,
   and a season for every activity under the heavens:

 ² a time to be born and a time to die,
   a time to plant and a time to uproot,
 ³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
   a time to tear down and a time to build,
 ⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
   a time to mourn and a time to dance,
 ⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
   a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
 ⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
   a time to keep and a time to throw away,
 ⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
   a time to be silent and a time to speak,
 ⁸ a time to love and a time to hate,
   a time for war and a time for peace.

 ⁹ What do workers gain from their toil? ¹⁰ I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. ¹¹ He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. ¹² I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. ¹³ That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God.

(Ecclesiastes 3: 1-13)

You see, God doesn’t play it by ear, no ad libbing here! Before you were born He knew you, He created you, He planned each step, He knew when you would sin, and He planned out what HE would do in your life. So He knows that there truly is a season for everything.

There was a season when all I wanted was to get out of high school and go to college—and over time that happened. Then the season came where I worked hard through college and longed for the peace of graduation and no more homework—well, in God’s timing that happened too! What I am going through now will not always be! Read verse one again, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens…” God says there is a season. Think of spring, summer, fall and winter—they don’t last forever! They last for just a time, and then they change.

I am going through a season of trials, sorrow and loneliness, but that’s all they are; seasons. They won’t last forever! And boy, oh boy does that give me hope! But I know that they are seasons, which means they come back around. This is why God uses each trial to strengthen us and teach us, so we will be better equipped for the next season.

Thank you God for the trials in my life for I know that through them you are building me. I have faith and confidence that this just a season. How long of a season, only You know. But I joyfully give thanks for my trials, and look forward to a sunnier season filled with abundance!

It’s my prayer that this gives you hope to endure whatever it is you’re going through. A little change of perspective can sometimes change your entire outlook, and in turn change how you deal with things.

Which reminds me of a devotional I read from Girlfriends in God a week or so ago. The author lamented about a day when she was so weary and so sick-and-tired of meaningless chores! She angrily mopped the kitchen floors that had just been cleaned and re-dirtied by her children. As she shoved the mop back and forth, all-the-while complaining and grumbling, God gave her a different perspective and she cried out to God. Thank you Lord for strong hands and health to be able to stand and hold this mop! Thank you for this home that I even have a floor to mop in the first place! Thank you for my messy children and the blessing of serving them and cleaning up after them.  (This is my paraphrased version.)

You see, God wants us to be content and thankful in every situation. Lately I’ve found myself complaining under my breath, mad about meaningless things, yearning for things that just aren’t in this season. And God had something to say about it, just a simple one sentence, but clear enough for anyone. “Do everything without complaining or grumbling.” (Philippians 2:14) God desires for us to be thankful and content with what we have, who we are, who HE is, His timing and where we are in life.

He changed my perspective. God, how blessed I am to have loving parents that are willing to take care of me in my season of need. How blessed I am to have good health. How blessed am I to have a wonderful job that pays for more than my needs! How blessed am I to be young and still have so many opportunities before me! God, your blessings are uncountable, You have been so good to me…

Yes, a little change of perspective, the confirmation from God that life comes in seasons, and a grateful attitude—all of these things God has used mightily in me these past few weeks. I pray that this too has blessed you, and that the things I have learned may teach you today.

I’d like to share an incredible sermon I heard this Sunday at church that really melded together all of the things that God has been saying to me. Pastor Rich preached a powerful message called “Godliness with Contentment is Eternal Wealth”. Click here to go to our church website and click on the sermon with the aforementioned title (or just click the play button) to listen to the sermon. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Be encouraged my friends, be encouraged my soul!

Love,

Amanda

Hope

I don't have much to say today. My soul is filled with joy and grief at the same time. But I am greatly encouraged by the hope that I have in my God. A few days ago I felt so completely broken and sad. I was and am overwhelmed by Christmas this year. Not by the celebration of Christ's birth, but by the magnification of the loss of the one I loved. Oh sad Christmas songs--you and your gleeful melodies and ironically heart breaking lyrics--I never understood you, but oh how tragically I comprehend you now!

I am trying my very best to focus on Christ and the true meaning of Christmas; to keep Him at the center and still find joy in the wonderful holiday. But I must also allow myself to grieve this loss. It is only natural for me to feel lonely at this time.

I was driving and feeling like the weight of this world might just crush my shoulders at any moment. I felt lonely. I was listening to Klove radio and in between songs a man shared a story that made me stop the car and burst into tears. His word gave me such encouragement--such hope--and I want to share that with you too. The man said that although we might be experiencing such incredibly hard times--the fact that we are still breathing and on this earth is proof that God's will is not yet complete for us. Proof that God has marvelous things in store. He said that if God's will is not yet complete for us, that means that the most wonderful best times of our lives are yet to come! So even through these trials we can have HOPE because our great loving God has so much better in store for us!

I just burst into a flood of tears! What a message my soul needed! Times are hard. My heart is broken. I am lonely and sad. BUT...this is NOT the end! I am still here--I am still fighting this battle and living this life! There are so many marvelous things in store for me. Jesus loves me and has planned incredible things for me. To be used to further His kingdom and find fulfillment is it. Wow...thank you Lord!

This is not the end for you either. I don't know where you are today--how you are feeling or what troubles are knocking at your door. But please be encouraged my friends. The LORD your God has gone before you and has planned marvelous things for you. Even through pain and suffering, He will bring great joy--and that is how much He loves us!

"Yes, my soul, find rest in God; my hope comes from Him. Truly He is my Rock and my Salvation; He is my Fortress, I will not be shaken." (Psalm 62:1-2)

This song "My Hope is in You" by Aaron Shust is my song of the day. Please listen and be encouraged! Where is your hope?

My Love Song

Lately I've been getting back into the habit of expressing myself through written word--whether it's blogging, journaling, writing prayers or poetry--I find that I feel most comforted and at peace when I'm writing. Not only that but I learn best when I meditate and write as well. I'd like to share with you a poem/song I wrote a few months ago when my life was in such deep turmoil. I wrote it looking back on all that I had overcome and looking ahead at the wonderful things in store.

My Love Song

I felt so very broken,
As if I were unwhole.
So I searched for missing pieces
To complete my lonely soul.

Although I knew you God,
My struggles still were great.
Constantly tempted to sin,
Turning back far too late.

I walked with you there
In the valley of death.
But did not trust you Lord,
When my faith you did test.

The winds the blew me over.
The skies they darkened black.
The rivers they arose,
With Satan at my back.

And the wind blew harder still,
Bringing me to my knees—
It was there I found you Lord,
It was there I found your peace.

I cried out to you,
For mercy I did plea,
“Deliver me dear Jesus!
My Lord, rescue me!”

The Prince of Peace heard
My brother he answered me.
He gave me the strength I needed
To sail through stormy seas.

The winds and waves they howled,
The father of lies, he hissed.
He tried to make me fall again,
But all his snares did miss.

Let this be my love song,
A true testament of your grace—
Lord, when I did not have the strength,
You equipped me to run the race.

For Jesus, you did prune me,
Of all my fruitless vines.
In Christ Jesus I am rooted
With all His glory divine.

Nurture me and grow me,
My great Immanuel.
You are God of everything,
May my life this story tell.

To Yaweh be the glory
To God and God alone.
I am just a traveler,
This world is not my home.

You’ve set aside a place for me
A home that’s truly mine
When Heaven’s splendor I will see
For all the rest of time.

There will be more storms
Of troubles, I am sure
But Jesus I will follow
My LORD He will endure!

A Prayer For A Friend

"A Prayer For a Friend"(By Casting Crowns)

Lord I lift my friend to You.

I've done all that I know to do.

I lift my friend, to You.

Complicated circumstances have clouded his view.

Lord I lift my friend up to You.

I fear that I won't have the words

that he needs to hear.

I pray for Your wisdom, oh God.

And a heart that's sincere.

And Lord I lift my friend up to You.

Lord I lift my friend to You.

My best friend in the world,

I know he means much more to You.

I want so much to help him,

but this is something he has to do.

Lord I lift my friend up to You.

There's a way that seems so right to him.

But You know where that leads.

He's becoming a puppet of the world.
Too blind to see the strings.

And Lord I lift my friend up to You.

Lord I lift my friend to You.

I've done all that I know to do.

I lift my friend, to You.

 

 

Glimmers of Hope

Today was a beautiful day. Church was an amazing fresh breath of air. As I sat in the aisle and cried my eyes out, I looked around me and saw all these smiling people thanking God. I thought to myself, “Am I the only broken person here?” “Am I the only one who is hurting?” The beautiful women around me held me close and let me cry all over them. As I listened to my brothers and sisters thanking Christ for trials of many kinds, I remembered something amazing—although I am going through an unimaginable trial, I have more blessings than I could possibly ever think of! 

So I began “counting my blessings” and remembering all of the incredible things I have to be thankful for. Then God gave me a special surprise, a glimmer of hope. I only pray that the glimmer starts to shine brighter every day. Thank you Lord for your blessings and for hope!

Photo from http://sherriejohnson.blogspot.com
/2011/04/fire-in-belly.html

Today we celebrated my parents’ 50^th birthdays. I was surrounded by my beautiful family and my baby niece calling my name and telling me she loved me all day. We cuddled in bed and she showered me with kisses. Thank you Lord, for my family and the love of little children.  What a beautiful healing love.

I heard a great song on KLOVE radio. It’s called “Fall Apart” by Josh Wilson. Sometimes it amazes me the songs they play on KLOVE. I wonder to myself, “God, did you write that song just for me?” Nothing could describe my situation more right now. I hope that you will listen to the words and the truth they speak. (Click here to listen to the song.)

“Fall Apart” by Josh Wilson

Why in the world did I think I could
Only get to know you when my life was good
When everything just falls in place
The easiest thing is to give You praise

Now it all seems upside down

‘Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when I fall apart

Blessed are the ones who understand
We’ve got nothing to bring but empty hands
Nothing to hide and nothing to prove
Our heartbreak brings us back to You

And it all seems upside down

‘Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when I fall apart

I don’t know how long this will last
I’m praying for the pain to pass
But maybe this is the best thing that
Has ever happened to me

My whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when
You will find me when I fall apart

Today was a blessing, and I know tomorrow will be too. I don’t where God will take me tomorrow, but I know that everything will be okay.

Be encouraged my friends, and be encouraged my soul!

With love,

Amanda Q

Psalm 43:5

New International Version (NIV)

 ⁵ Why, my soul, are you downcast?
   Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
   for I will yet praise him,
   my Savior and my God.

Perseverance

I am on a roller coaster of emotions. I am up soaring up, then plummeting down, going through loops and tunnels…and wondering when the ride will come to that sudden, chest pounding stop.

What I am going through is a great trial, a true personal tragedy. You don’t need my specifics, but I’m sure you can relate. We’ve all been there; we’ve all been through hardships, been hurt by someone.

But there is hope. I know right now my pain and agony seems endless. I cry out to God like David did when he wrote those depressing, heart-wrenching Psalms. But I trust and have faith that while this trial is painful now—GOOD things will come from this. GOOD things will come again.

Already this trial has shaped me and grown me. Already my relationships have become closer. I can already see the fruit of this turmoil.

There is a favorite scripture of mine that has held my hand through many a situations, and it rings even clearer through this hard time…

“ ² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,^[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1: 2-4

Perseverance— that’s what this is all about. It’s about getting through each plummeting fall and rising again. Building enough speed to make it through the falls, so you may have speed left over to rise to the top again.

Be encouraged my friends, and be encouraged my heart and soul!

“…Weeping may last for the night, but joy is coming in the morning.” Psalm 30:5