A Promise Kept

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" Jeremiah 29:11

"Everything works together for the good of those that love the Lord." Romans 8:28

If you've followed my blog for the past year or so, you might be getting sick of these verses. (After all, I reference them in nearly every entry.) Like a favorite song or catchy tune that you can't seem to get out of your head, these verses are constantly on 'repeat' on my heart. Over and over again I chant them. They have become my battle cry, my strength, what gets me through each day and gives me the endurance to keep going. I have clung to these verses white-knuckled with every ounce of courage and hope that I have. With every fiber of my being, as a desperate, broken woman I have clung to these promises from God, grasping tightly to the hope that someday they would come true for me.

Someday...

Someday all of this pain will work together for my good.

Someday...

Someday the Lord will prosper me, give me hope and a future.

Someday...

Friends, rejoice with me! Praise God with me! Worship and shout out because the LORD my God, my Savior Jesus who has made these promises to me (and to you) has made good of His word, and that someday is NOW.

These verses were once just dreams and hopes, now they are promises kept, proof of Jesus' compassionate and faithful, enduring love! God has truly used the pain and the brokenness to heal me, to grow me, to teach me, to mature me. God has strengthened me through these trials. He has traded my pain and sorrows for joy and smiles. He has swapped my despair and depression with hope and confidence. God has made me whole. He has provided for my every need and blessed me. Truly I proclaim to you, that He has kept His word!

And if God has kept these promises to me, why should I have any doubts that He will faithfully fulfill all other promises He has made? I have searched my soul, I have studied His word, and I have cried out in prayer. Friends, I tell you, I have found no reason to doubt God. He is true. He has been true throughout the ages, and He has demonstrated time and time again throughout my life that He will never leave me, nor forsake me.

"What then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?" Romans 8:31

A few weeks ago I went for a rather long hike. As I sat in a large walnut tree grove I prayed to God and asked Him many things. I unloaded the burdens of my heart to Him. I begged Him for mercy. I asked Him to finalize this divorce, to set me free and bring me into the future that He promised. As I cried and prayed, I felt the urge to read my Bible. So I opened my Bible app on my phone. The first page it opened was a Verse of The Day. As I read the verse I began to choke on tears. God heard my prayers, and He responded in a real and true way. I read the words of Romans 8:31 over and over again, smiling more and more each time. "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

"If God is for us, who can be against us?"

Let me tell you friend, your prayers don't bounce off the ceiling. God hears you. God loves you, and whether you see it or not, He is responding to you.

Recently I decided that I wanted to get to know the heart of God better. I've never read the Old Testament and I felt like I was missing out on the rich heritage of my people, of God's people, of God Himself. So I started to read. As I read through Exodus I noticed something about God that was so utterly profound and still rings true in my life today. God performed miracles in order to set the Israelites free and bring them out of the land of Egypt and out of slavery. He did these things because He loved His people, because He heard them cry out, because He had compassion and did not want them to suffer and because He had promised their ancestors that He would deliver them. And yet for forty years after He set them free they struggled against Him, wandering aimlessly in the dessert. And here's the rub--God did not free the Israelites so that they could continue to be slaves, lost, hopeless in the desert. No! God freed His beloved children so that He would deliver them out of slavery and into the promised land, to give them hope and a future!

I began to see the connection between the desert-wandering Israelites and myself. I have wandered for over a year now through this desert-like Limbo of the divorce process; at times, losing hope, and other times grasping firm to it as the only option I had left. But what I've come to realize through my dear Israelite brothers and sisters is that my compassionate Father God did not free me from an abusive marriage so that I could continue to be bound and wander the desert. No! God saved me, so that He could bring me out of desperation and into the promised land, into the future that He said He would!

I trust Him. I faithfully follow Him and with all my heart I trust Him. I've wandered in the desert for so long, but the promised land is just over the horizon, I can see it, a blur coming into view. 

Friends, please pray for me. Sometime this week or the next, my divorce paperwork will once again go to the judge for final judgement. I have done all that he has asked. I have made all the corrections and refiled and waited and waited. I know that all this time has been for good reason and that God has used every situation to better me. I have grown through this time in the "desert" and I know, I just know it, I feel it deep in my soul, that God is going to deliver me. Please pray that He will. Pray that he moves Judge Powers' heart, pray for a miracle.

I pray for you too, that no matter where you are in life, no matter what your current struggle is, that you would hold firm to God's promises. I pray that God is using my life, my story, my struggles as a way to show His awesome glory and power to you. You are loved and cherished. Thank you for joining me on my journey, I pray that God blesses you abundantly and reveals His glory and wisdom to you.

I love you friends, and more importantly, Jesus loves you with an unconditional love that has no bounds. May we learn to not be Israelites lost in the desert, pointing our fingers at God and blaming Him, but instead learn to faithfully follow Him and trust that He is guiding us to the promised land. 

After all, "If God is for us, who can be against us?"

"I Walk By Faith" is one of my favorite worship songs; and it epitomizes what I have been through and am going through!

Rise From The Ashes

Imagine a gloriously peaceful and beautiful forest. The tall, tall trees are growing close together, creating shade and cool weather. The birds are chirping and the deer scamper to a billowing creek for a fresh drink. Plump berries are growing from thorny bushes for big bears to snack on. Old trees are dying and new ones are growing. It’s a complete circle of life, created by God’s hands. 

One particularly hot and sticky day, a ray of sunshine pours down through the thick foliage and rests upon a dried crunchy leaf. In the flash of an eye the once dehydrated leaf is now ablaze in a red hot fury. The leaves around it catch fire, then twigs, fallen branches and trees. In a matter of minutes the once serene forest is now in panic, fighting for life. The birds have all flown away in a giant mass of ruffling feathers. All manner of woodland creatures are running as fast as they can. 

The fire only grows hotter, spreading faster and completely out of control. Smoke billows from the tree tops, blackening the sky with despair. It seems utterly hopeless. The fire runs out of fuel and slowly the flames begin to die down. The forest is now left smoldering—nothing but heaps of charred ashes and coals. Lifeless. 

Or is it? 

You may not know this, but in the great circle of life, fires are essential. You see, even the plants know that sometimes you must burn down to the beginning and rebuild. I learned this lesson once while on a vacation to Mount Lassen. The park ranger told us about the importance of forest fires. You see, over time the forest grows and multiplies, all the while trees are dying, falling and creating all sorts of debris on the forest floor. This dead brush chokes out the nutrients and life and prevents new growth from happening. Eventually a fire will erupt, and when the once lively forest is left a blackened pile of ash, the most glorious thing happens. In an otherwise tragic act of destruction, nature renews the burned remains and allows the ashes to act as fertilizer, a building foundation for an even healthier and more beautiful forest to come. Out of the hopeless ashes spring an even more glorious life.

Now that’s amazing.

When I think about my life and the fires that are raging out of control, I am reminded of the peaceful forest ablaze. While seemingly tragic, the fire is followed by re-growth, and a better life is able to happen—but not until the forest has been burned down to its core.  Now that’s a metaphor, if I do say so myself!

 God can rebuild us from the ashes, just as He designed nature to do so; He also designed our lives in this manner. Trials will come, of that there is no doubt. Fires will rage in our lives—whether small brush fires, or ten alarm fires that burn us to our core—fires are a part of life.

But unlike the plants of the ground—we have been blessed with free will. We have a choice to consider—when fires erupt in our lives, how will we react? Do you see the fire as a hopeless situation, or do you wait optimistically to see what good will come of it? When standing in the middle of the forest, while everything you love and cherish dearly is being burned to the ground—what will you do? How will you allow this to change you? After you are left standing in a bewildering mess of smoke and ash, what do you do?

Nature is a great example of what you should do during a fire, and after a fire. God even tells us in His word to take hope in our hopeless situations. Remember this, my beloved friends: “Everything works together for the good of those that love the Lord.” (Romans 8:28) Without fires, nature comes to a stand still—fires are essential to growth, both in nature, and in our lives.

The Apostle Paul tells us to expect trials, and to see them as great opportunities. “² Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, ³ because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. ⁴ Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1: 2-4) 

Paul knew pain, he was chained and imprisoned. He wasn’t just going through one fire, he was going through multiple—maybe you are too. Maybe you are surrounded by the most painful and heart wrenching situations. But even still—can you see the good? Perhaps you can’t see it yet, my friend, but set your mind and spirit, and trust that good things will come. These fires of life may burn you to the ground, but they grow you as well. Hold on to God and His promises. On your own, you cannot defeat this fire. It is only by His will, through His grace and mercy, and by His strength, that you will be able to overcome. Cling to Him, and allow Him to burn the dead brush from your life and rebuild you. The more fires, the more growth. The more you can withstand and you will persevere through the heat. Let the fires run their course so that you may grow.

I have come to know pain. My life is a forest ablaze. I am tragically and beautifully wounded, but my wounds by no means match those that Jesus Christ endured whilst laying His life down so that I may have life everlasting. I am being burned down to my core, but I refuse to be shaken. I refuse to let anger and bitterness consume me and prevent me from growing. I refuse to continually rip the scabs from my wounds, reopening them and preventing them from healing. Life is a cycle, and with Yahweh, I shall continue—I chose to persevere. 

Photo property of Laponiapictures.com

Precious friends, do not let the fires of this life burn you out. Rather, like the trees and flowers of the forest, rise from the ashes and grow. Like charred tree stumps, your fires may leave you scarred, but do not allow them to hinder your growth—no my beloved, allow your scarred base to remind you of how very far you have come. 

Again, I urge you; do not let the flames of this life consume you. This is only the beginning, you were made for so much more. Fires do not last forever, they burn out and allow for healing. Get up, call on the name of the Lord, rise from these ashes, and grow.

 This song "Rise" by Shawn McDonald has been on my heart, and inspired this blog. To listen to the song, click the YouTube video below.

Suffocating

Today I feel like I’m suffocating. My lungs are working, air is filtering in and out of my body—in every sense I am breathing; and yet, I am suffocating.

Physical pain just doesn’t compare to emotional pain. I am a broken person. My heart has been shattered, leaving shard remains to further inflict pain and misery.

Wow, that was depressing wasn’t it? What happened to the “encouraging” message of my blog? Well, like I’ve told you before—this blog isn’t for you, it’s for me. So hold tight with me while I release some of the agonizing pain that I am in.

Photo from http://navneet023.wordpress.com/
2009/08/08/so-are-you-suffocating/

Pain can be a good thing…if you let it be. I am broken now, but I won’t always be, unless I continually dwell on my brokenness and feel hopeless and don’t try to make things better. No, I refuse to be a victim any longer, and I refuse to be a victim of my own broken heart.

It may take a while. The pain is something I must experience in order to be able to grow stronger. But I won’t let this defeat me. I won’t let this ruin everything I have worked for. I am still beautiful, I am still strong, I am still successful, I am still loved, and I am still a child of the Most High God!

I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know where my relationship will go. I know what I want, but I don’t know what GOD has in store…and maybe it’s better that way! But I do know that “Everything works together for the good of them that love the Lord.” (Romans 8:28) 

I must take baby steps. One day at a time. I must keep my eyes pointed upwards and my prayers constant. Just like physical wounds, emotional wounds will heal with time too…so long as I don’t keep ripping off the scab and causing it to bleed. 

So I’m taking a deep breath, gathering myself, and saying a prayer. I pray that if you have ever felt this way, or are feeling this way, that God would give the strength you need to make it through. I pray God will heal our hearts. Most of all, I pray God will make a way through this endless dessert of depression. 

Be encouraged my friends, be encouraged my soul.

With love,

Amanda Q

p.s. This song is a great encouragement! Take a listen my friends :)

Mr. Talkbox "Everything Works Together"