Suffocating

Today I feel like I’m suffocating. My lungs are working, air is filtering in and out of my body—in every sense I am breathing; and yet, I am suffocating.

Physical pain just doesn’t compare to emotional pain. I am a broken person. My heart has been shattered, leaving shard remains to further inflict pain and misery.

Wow, that was depressing wasn’t it? What happened to the “encouraging” message of my blog? Well, like I’ve told you before—this blog isn’t for you, it’s for me. So hold tight with me while I release some of the agonizing pain that I am in.

Photo from http://navneet023.wordpress.com/
2009/08/08/so-are-you-suffocating/

Pain can be a good thing…if you let it be. I am broken now, but I won’t always be, unless I continually dwell on my brokenness and feel hopeless and don’t try to make things better. No, I refuse to be a victim any longer, and I refuse to be a victim of my own broken heart.

It may take a while. The pain is something I must experience in order to be able to grow stronger. But I won’t let this defeat me. I won’t let this ruin everything I have worked for. I am still beautiful, I am still strong, I am still successful, I am still loved, and I am still a child of the Most High God!

I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know where my relationship will go. I know what I want, but I don’t know what GOD has in store…and maybe it’s better that way! But I do know that “Everything works together for the good of them that love the Lord.” (Romans 8:28) 

I must take baby steps. One day at a time. I must keep my eyes pointed upwards and my prayers constant. Just like physical wounds, emotional wounds will heal with time too…so long as I don’t keep ripping off the scab and causing it to bleed. 

So I’m taking a deep breath, gathering myself, and saying a prayer. I pray that if you have ever felt this way, or are feeling this way, that God would give the strength you need to make it through. I pray God will heal our hearts. Most of all, I pray God will make a way through this endless dessert of depression. 

Be encouraged my friends, be encouraged my soul.

With love,

Amanda Q

p.s. This song is a great encouragement! Take a listen my friends :)

Mr. Talkbox "Everything Works Together"