Tuesday, June 28, 2011

A Prayer For A Friend

"A Prayer For a Friend"(By Casting Crowns)
Lord I lift my friend to You.
I've done all that I know to do.
I lift my friend, to You.
Complicated circumstances have clouded his view.
Lord I lift my friend up to You.

I fear that I won't have the words
that he needs to hear.
I pray for Your wisdom, oh God.
And a heart that's sincere.
And Lord I lift my friend up to You.

Lord I lift my friend to You.
My best friend in the world,
I know he means much more to You.
I want so much to help him,
but this is something he has to do.
Lord I lift my friend up to You.

There's a way that seems so right to him.
But You know where that leads.
He's becoming a puppet of the world.
Too blind to see the strings.
And Lord I lift my friend up to You.

Lord I lift my friend to You.
I've done all that I know to do.
I lift my friend, to You.
 
 

Monday, June 27, 2011

Pruning

I’ve been slowly reading an amazing devotional book called “Secrets of The Vine” by Bruce Wilkinson. It focuses on the scriptures found in John 15 where Jesus uses a grape vine as an illustration to describe how God has to prune us in order that we may produce even more fruit.
Here is the scripture, and below are some excerpts from the book. They have been an incredible encouragement to me and have helped me to understand why I am going through this trial…
John 15The Vine and the Branches
 1 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. 2 He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes[a] so that it will be even more fruitful. 3 You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me.
   5 “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing. 6 If you do not remain in me, you are like a branch that is thrown away and withers; such branches are picked up, thrown into the fire and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. 8 This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.

(The following excerpts are taken from pages 78-87 of “Secrets of the Vine”.)
Mature pruning is God’s way of helping you put into practice His command to “seek first the kingdom of God.” This is why God will always prune those things that we slavishly seek first, love most, and begrudge giving up. Again, His goal isn’t to plunder or harm, but to liberate us so that we can pursue our true desire—His kingdom.
This kind of pruning goes beyond rearranging priorities to the heart of what defines us—the people we love, the possessions we cling to, our deep sense of personal rights. These are the very arenas God must rule if we are to bear fruit…
God may be asking you to give up your “right” to be married, to have children, or to achieve a particular kind of success. God may be inviting you to follow Christ without the support of your closest family members—possibly even enduring their hatred and rejection because of your faith. If so, He is pruning closely to what really matters to you—not to take something good from you, but to become Lord of all you desire
…We go through long seasons in our faith walk when we’re unable to answer questions like Why? and How long? We only know Who—our loving Father—and He has proven worthy of our trust. He asks us to let go of reasons, of rights, of fears, and simply throw our arms around His neck. At those times we can pray: “Father, I’m hanging on to You. You can do whatever You want. Just carry me through.”…
…The prize at stake here is your God-given need for a sense of worth and purpose. For Abraham, it was his miracle son, Isaac. For Gideon, it was his large army. What is it for you? ...
…Here is a testimony to the goal of mature pruning: that you will finally be so surrendered to God that everything you now love dearly—even worthy activities and goals—will be let go into God’s sovereign keeping. What remains in your grip is one passion, one goal, one unhindered opportunity: to bear more fruit.
The truth is, Christians who have experienced deep pruning don’t focus on what is left behind anyway. They’re given to courageous, hope-filled, forward-straining prayers on the order of this one from author John Piper: “Lord, let me make a difference for you that is utterly disproportionate to who I am.”…
…I am not inviting you to ask for pruning. Trials will come. The question is simply whether or not you will let the purposeful pruning of God do its work in you, or let it go to waste.
In pruning, how you respond makes all the difference. You can complain, rebel, compromise, or run away. Or you can experience the joy, comfort, and rest that come to disciples who keep their eyes on the prize, not the pain. Listen to Peter describe how some Christians in his day were triumphing in the middle of severe testing:
“In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while, if need be, you have been grieved by various trials, that genuineness of your faith, being much more precious than gold that perishes, though it is tested by fire, may be found to praise, honor, and glory at the revelation of Jesus Christ, whom having not seen you love. Though now you do not see Him, yet believing, you rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory.” (1 Peter 1:6-8)

I am definitely being pruned, and I pray that I may grow stronger and be able to produce more fruit through this trial, and that God would be glorified.
Be encouraged my friends, be encouraged my soul!
With love,
Amanda Q

This song has been stuck in my head all day. It's called "Beautiful Things" by Gungor.
"You make beautiful things, you make beautiful things out of the dust.
You make beautiful things,
you make beautiful things out of us."
Click here to here the song on YouTube.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Glimmers of Hope

Today was a beautiful day. Church was an amazing fresh breath of air. As I sat in the aisle and cried my eyes out, I looked around me and saw all these smiling people thanking God. I thought to myself, “Am I the only broken person here?” “Am I the only one who is hurting?” The beautiful women around me held me close and let me cry all over them. As I listened to my brothers and sisters thanking Christ for trials of many kinds, I remembered something amazing—although I am going through an unimaginable trial, I have more blessings than I could possibly ever think of! 

So I began “counting my blessings” and remembering all of the incredible things I have to be thankful for. Then God gave me a special surprise, a glimmer of hope. I only pray that the glimmer starts to shine brighter every day. Thank you Lord for your blessings and for hope!
Photo from http://sherriejohnson.blogspot.com
/2011/04/fire-in-belly.html

Today we celebrated my parents’ 50th birthdays. I was surrounded by my beautiful family and my baby niece calling my name and telling me she loved me all day. We cuddled in bed and she showered me with kisses. Thank you Lord, for my family and the love of little children.  What a beautiful healing love.

I heard a great song on KLOVE radio. It’s called “Fall Apart” by Josh Wilson. Sometimes it amazes me the songs they play on KLOVE. I wonder to myself, “God, did you write that song just for me?” Nothing could describe my situation more right now. I hope that you will listen to the words and the truth they speak. (Click here to listen to the song.)

“Fall Apart” by Josh Wilson
Why in the world did I think I could
Only get to know you when my life was good
When everything just falls in place
The easiest thing is to give You praise

Now it all seems upside down

‘Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when I fall apart

Blessed are the ones who understand
We’ve got nothing to bring but empty hands
Nothing to hide and nothing to prove
Our heartbreak brings us back to You

And it all seems upside down

‘Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when I fall apart

I don’t know how long this will last
I’m praying for the pain to pass
But maybe this is the best thing that
Has ever happened to me

My whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when
You will find me when I fall apart


Today was a blessing, and I know tomorrow will be too. I don’t where God will take me tomorrow, but I know that everything will be okay.

Be encouraged my friends, and be encouraged my soul!

With love,
Amanda Q

Psalm 43:5
New International Version (NIV)
 5 Why, my soul, are you downcast?
   Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
   for I will yet praise him,
   my Savior and my God.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Suffocating

Today I feel like I’m suffocating. My lungs are working, air is filtering in and out of my body—in every sense I am breathing; and yet, I am suffocating.

Physical pain just doesn’t compare to emotional pain. I am a broken person. My heart has been shattered, leaving shard remains to further inflict pain and misery.

Wow, that was depressing wasn’t it? What happened to the “encouraging” message of my blog? Well, like I’ve told you before—this blog isn’t for you, it’s for me. So hold tight with me while I release some of the agonizing pain that I am in.
Photo from http://navneet023.wordpress.com/
2009/08/08/so-are-you-suffocating/

Pain can be a good thing…if you let it be. I am broken now, but I won’t always be, unless I continually dwell on my brokenness and feel hopeless and don’t try to make things better. No, I refuse to be a victim any longer, and I refuse to be a victim of my own broken heart.
It may take a while. The pain is something I must experience in order to be able to grow stronger. But I won’t let this defeat me. I won’t let this ruin everything I have worked for. I am still beautiful, I am still strong, I am still successful, I am still loved, and I am still a child of the Most High God!

I don’t know what the future holds. I don’t know where my relationship will go. I know what I want, but I don’t know what GOD has in store…and maybe it’s better that way! But I do know that “Everything works together for the good of them that love the Lord.” (Romans 8:28) 

I must take baby steps. One day at a time. I must keep my eyes pointed upwards and my prayers constant. Just like physical wounds, emotional wounds will heal with time too…so long as I don’t keep ripping off the scab and causing it to bleed. 

So I’m taking a deep breath, gathering myself, and saying a prayer. I pray that if you have ever felt this way, or are feeling this way, that God would give the strength you need to make it through. I pray God will heal our hearts. Most of all, I pray God will make a way through this endless dessert of depression. 

Be encouraged my friends, be encouraged my soul.

With love,
Amanda Q



p.s. This song is a great encouragement! Take a listen my friends :)





 

Friday, June 24, 2011

Perseverance

I am on a roller coaster of emotions. I am up soaring up, then plummeting down, going through loops and tunnels…and wondering when the ride will come to that sudden, chest pounding stop.
What I am going through is a great trial, a true personal tragedy. You don’t need my specifics, but I’m sure you can relate. We’ve all been there; we’ve all been through hardships, been hurt by someone.
But there is hope. I know right now my pain and agony seems endless. I cry out to God like David did when he wrote those depressing, heart-wrenching Psalms. But I trust and have faith that while this trial is painful now—GOOD things will come from this. GOOD things will come again.
Already this trial has shaped me and grown me. Already my relationships have become closer. I can already see the fruit of this turmoil.
There is a favorite scripture of mine that has held my hand through many a situations, and it rings even clearer through this hard time…
“ 2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters,[a] whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1: 2-4
Perseverance— that’s what this is all about. It’s about getting through each plummeting fall and rising again. Building enough speed to make it through the falls, so you may have speed left over to rise to the top again.
Be encouraged my friends, and be encouraged my heart and soul!
“…Weeping may last for the night, but joy is coming in the morning.” Psalm 30:5

Thursday, June 23, 2011

Stepping Up

This is my soapbox. I’m stepping up on my crate, in the middle of the park—so to speak—standing on the street corner of the Internet, shouting my opinions and beliefs to many a wary passerby.
I don’t have an agenda, although you may not believe that. I have no aim, no goal, no true purpose or anything life shattering to say. This blog is not for you. No, I’m sorry to say that, but it’s true. This blog is not for you, it is for me. Yes, this street corner is public and in every way I am sharing with you my thoughts and beliefs, but unlike others who stand on crates in the park—I am not here to tell you what I believe, so much as I am here to tell myself what I believe.
That’s it. That is all. There you have the summary of my soapbox. I am not preaching at you. You can continue to “walk” by. No one is forcing you to stay. But should you choose to stay, you may learn a few things. But more importantly, I have begun this journey to learn a few things myself. Thoughts and beliefs become so much more real when they are turned into written word.  
I am not standing on my soapbox to try and tell you what you should believe, or how you should live. What I write is for me—but in the course of my essays, should you learn something from my own walk, from my mistakes, from my victories, that would bring me great honor.
I will not try and trick you into thinking this blog is about one thing when it’s really about something else; like I previously stated, I have no agenda, and neither do I have a hidden one.  My soapbox is about my life, and every aspect of my life is somehow related to my relationship with God and my walk with Jesus Christ.
I am not a theologian, I have no fancy degree. I have no credentials whatsoever. But I have something much more powerful and meaningful than credentials—I have life experience. But let it be perfectly clear, so that no person may cast judgment—I am not always right. When it comes to a Christian walk, we all have different opinions and feelings, and my experiences have shaped my own beliefs. I am an imperfect person, a sinner. I make mistakes.
My soapbox is not a forum. But should you have questions, I welcome a friendly conversation. There is only room for love on this soapbox, and if you chose love, well then there is room for you too. It is my prayer that I offend no one, that I say no wrong things—but like I said, I am imperfect, and it is bound to happen. Should I fall, please forgive me. Should I offend you, please tell me kindly. I wish to hurt no one, only to spread the gracious love that has been so lavishly given to me.
So here I am Lord. I am standing on my soapbox, please don’t let the shuffling of the crowds knock me down. Help me to be true to you in all that I say and do. I pray that through my soapbox I will learn more about You and the life You want me to live. Grow me, God, teach me.
In Jesus name I pray,
Amen.

With love,
Amanda Q